Monday, April 18, 2011

deleted my last post...

Well I wrote a post about some struggles I am going through, left it up a few days, then felt embarassed by sharing my stuggles and then deleted it.  I want to get back into a rhythm of blogging again, but it may take me a while here, so bear with me.  Long story short.... if you missed my last post, ( I deleted it so quickly after having written it )I have been going through a lot, I have had a nervous breakdown, and am working with my docs to find the right balance of medications to help me with my anxiety / clinical depression ( I have had anxiety/depression since my early childhood).  The most recent round of meds they put me on, made me very suicidal and I checked into the hospital.  I am slowly trying new meds, and seeing my therapist, and leaning on my husband, who has taken a leave from work to help out while  I have been on my cruise on the crazy boat.  I keep waiting to wake up in the morning and feel like me again, but it has yet to happen.  I have anxiety attacks constantly over silly things... looking into the freezer and picking waffles or pancakes for my boys. It takes me forever to do anything.  I feel this inner since of restlessness and constant waves of discouragement, overwhelmed feelings, boredom, and anxiety CONSTANTLY.  I am doing far better today than I was 2 weeks ago, but I am still not me yet. One day at a time.

1 comment:

  1. Depression is hard to go through and even harder to understand. Remember, you have three little ones who need you. This too shall pass. Take care of yourself so you can find the strenth to take care of them,.


lovely little notes