Easter.....

Easater this year was pretty simple.  We saw the Easter bunny... Jasper chose to admire him from afar, he did not want his pic with the big rabbit!  We took the kids to the drive-in and saw Hop, they loved it! We had the neighbor kids over to dye eggs with us and join in on our egg hunt.  I sewed little bunnies as usual for my littles.  We went to church, but I fell asleep during the service, ( my meds are making me super tired) so we came home and let Mommy take a nap.  Easter was nice.

Earth Day....

Here are a few pics of my backyard this year.  We are growing sunflowers along the back fence... from the seeds we collected from one of last years giant sunflowers.  Our onions and strawberries are doing very nicely.  Our peas are starting to really come along, and we have little things sprouting here and there everywhere.  Caillou went out and planted pumpkin seeds and checks them daily, waiting for his pumpkins to appear.  I had a hard time this year getting my seeds started and getting my garden going.  I really just did not feel like it, then again, as of recently  I didn't feel much like doing anything.  I am very glad my good friend and neighbor Christy kept giving me a kick in the butt, giving me seeds, and telling me to "go dig, go plant something"  because all though my yard is a bit messy, and there are lots of devilish weeds, it is nice to go out and pick a bucket of strawberries, and having a sunflower field in my backyard is a pretty sight to look forward too!

deleted my last post...

Well I wrote a post about some struggles I am going through, left it up a few days, then felt embarassed by sharing my stuggles and then deleted it.  I want to get back into a rhythm of blogging again, but it may take me a while here, so bear with me.  Long story short.... if you missed my last post, ( I deleted it so quickly after having written it )I have been going through a lot, I have had a nervous breakdown, and am working with my docs to find the right balance of medications to help me with my anxiety / clinical depression ( I have had anxiety/depression since my early childhood).  The most recent round of meds they put me on, made me very suicidal and I checked into the hospital.  I am slowly trying new meds, and seeing my therapist, and leaning on my husband, who has taken a leave from work to help out while  I have been on my cruise on the crazy boat.  I keep waiting to wake up in the morning and feel like me again, but it has yet to happen.  I have anxiety attacks constantly over silly things... looking into the freezer and picking waffles or pancakes for my boys. It takes me forever to do anything.  I feel this inner since of restlessness and constant waves of discouragement, overwhelmed feelings, boredom, and anxiety CONSTANTLY.  I am doing far better today than I was 2 weeks ago, but I am still not me yet. One day at a time.