an announcement...

Well Gee whiz, I just blogged about the baby bug and not getting pregnant, and SURPRISE... turns out baby number 4 is on the way!  I am due in July... right around Jasper's  b-day.  I am going to enjoy these next few early weeks before the morning sickness attacks me!!!  I am feeling super happy about this, and Caillou is thrilled to bits.  He is very concerned about the baby, and says when he grows up he wants to be a doctor that takes the babies out of the mommy's tummies! 

Hello Hello! and an explanation....

Hello Hello! I have been pretty terrible at blogging this past year!  I am going to try to do better.
First I will begin with a wee bit of an explanation over my last post... Dear Anonymous...  If any of my other "Anonymous followers or commenters" had the thought while reading the post " who is she talking about?" rest assured you are not "anonymous" at least not the "anonymous" in which I am referring to.  I have had a somewhat creepy person from my past, stalking my blog leaving anonymous comments that I do not publish.  I felt the need to send a little note to "Anonymous" just so they would know I am aware that I am being blog stalked and don't appreciate it!  That being said, all other anonymous friends please do leave your kind comments, because they truly do brighten my day!  Ok Now, let us move on from that craziness and onto better things!  We had picture day at preschool!  I thought the boys looke quite dapper in their cheery outfits.  Jasper was a little grumpy about getting his picture taken before school, but Caillou and Jasper both had darling smiles for their school picture.  After looking at these pictures, I do see that the boys attire may slightly resemble Kurt's from the t.v. show Glee.  Oh well they are only 3 and 4, and they look darling to me!

My mama and papa came up to our little town, and did a lovely makeover to the boys bedroom!  We took apart the bunk bed, put little froggie and turtle stickers on the walls, and made up their new beds.  They were quite thrilled when they came home from school to discover their new room!  They were so excited to go to sleep in their new beds, that they went to bed at 5:30!!!!

Here is Jasper with a treasure map that the "Candy Fairy" left him....

and here the boys are examining some "pixie dust" left by the "Candy Fairy"

They followed their treasure map, and a trail of pixie dust down two blocks of main street, until they came upon the X.  Sneaky Fairy hid the treasure in our town's taco shop supply closet!  The boys were thrilled with the adventure and the little toys the fairy left for them.

Yes I did indeed look the part of town weirdo, walking down two blocks of main street, armed with large quantities of glitter, sprinkling a heavy sprinkling of sparkles behind me leading up to that X.  But the excitement in my boys eyes as they went on their treasure hunt, was worth the multiple weird looks given to me, and the questions of "what are you doing" asked by strangers.

In Other news We are trying for Baby #4. With not much success.  I am having a hard time understanding why I am having difficulty getting pregnant, when it was so easy to conceive Caillou, Jasper, and Ollie.  This was something that I was hesitant to share on here, but I have never been one to keep much to mysef anyway,so here I go again with my heart on my sleeve.  It was scary at first for me, wanting baby number 4.  Especially considering how terribly depressed I was 8 months ago, and how long it took me to recover from what Effexor did to me.  But having a large family is something I have wanted for a long time.  So I am working on pushing aside those fears, and allowing myself to return to me, and part of me, is wanting to create my little family and add to it.  It was scary to think about wanting another baby too, because I have a great deal of difficulties with my dear Caillou.  We have PCIT therapy weekly, frequent visits with our therapist, a time consuming schedule integrating a sensory diet into his daily routine, and well raising a child with ADHD is tough.  Add to it, 2 more little boys, all under the age of 5... people are right when they say "you've got your hands full"  I do have my hands full, more than full at times, but I still have room in my heart.  Room for one more, or two or three, ha ha!  Which makes it so hard... that I am not getting pregnant!   Then again, with a husband that is only home at best 5 days out of every month... it does make it a bit difficult to conceive!   Grrr.... 

In other news... I held my first PTA meeting as president.  I was really nervous at first, but then it just came naturally to me.  I accredit it to my years of performing and teaching dance, it helped in me to be in a position of taking charge.  I loved it!!!  In my first meeting I organized a fall festival for the preschool, and a family night in December.  I also got the potluck BAN lifted!!!  There will be a baked goods table at the family night, which I of course plan to dazzle the parents with my homemade chocolate balls, cookies, and other goodies.  I am sooo in my element here!  I love it!  We handled lots of other business, and then it was suggested that each child receive a pumpkin at the fall festival.  Which I eagerly agreed to provide!  Where as I was then reminded by the site supervisor, that ther are a total of 74 children in attendance.  I blushed bright red for a moment, realizing I had volunteered myself to do something way out of my financial means, and probably out of my mind!  But you know what.... that next day... I delivered not 74 but 84 pumpkins to the preschool!  I was covered in dirt, my arms were sore, and my car and the missionaries car looked as if it had been attacked by an alien invasion of large orange pumpkins, but it was awesome!!! I felt so proud of myself.  Typically I don't like to toot my own horn, but it was not too long ago that I could not even get myself out of bed, and now I am doing things, I am getting stuff done, and I am so HAPPY about it!!!!  I am having ridiculous adventures again, I am getting up out of bed, now I may not brush my hair, and I may have been mistaken as a homeless person on laundry day, ( that is a whole different story to blog about) but I am getting up and getting things done, and enjoying my CRAZY, WILD, INSANELY LOVELY children!

Dear ANONYMOUS....

Dear ANONYMOUS.... you know who you are.... please stop leaving comments on my blog, because I KNOW WHO YOU ARE! Thank you very sincerely much

Happy Halloween

super busy and.... EXCITING NEWS!!!!

Wow! It has been super crazy around here!  Caillou and Jasper are both in morning preschool now.  Jasper is now in tumbling class, tap dance, and creative movement.  Caillou is about to begin ice skating.  Ollie is walking like crazy!  I am back to teaching dance again at the dance studio.  I've got my happy back!  Days are still crazy, and I of course feel overwhelmed and frustrated a lot, but  I am doing much better with my depression.  I get scared, because I know it is a chemical imbalance thing, and I could have a relapse at any time, but I am trying to not worry to much and just enjoy that I am once again actually able to feel feelings of enjoyment, and happiness.  After all it was just 6 months ago today, that I was in the hospital ready to end it all... I THINK I HAVE COME A LONG WAY!   We are enjoying readying ourselves for the holiday season!!!! Halloween, Thanksgiving, Caillou's 5th birthday!!! and of course CHRISTMAS!!!!  We had a lovely trip to our town's pumpkin patch this weekend, the first of many trips I am sure!!!  Today Jasper and I decorated the house, and on thursday we are making pumpkin pie!  AND NOW FOR AN ANNOUNCEMENT!!!!!    tonight I got some great news!!!
I am officially the preschool PTA president! (bet you thought I was going to announce baby number 4 huh!)  I am super duper excited to be PTA president and can't wait to be more involved in my boy's preschooling!  Well that is all for now!  I promise to post pics soon!!

Preschool days....

Caillou and Jasper are both going to preschool this year!!!  Jasper has been super duper excited!!!!  All last year he watched big brother Caillou climb aboard the big yellow school bus, all the while anxiously waiting for it to be his turn.  Each day asking " I go school now?"  And finally I can answer "yes, you can go to school now!"  Yesterday was their first day, they won't start going consistently on a schedule for another week or two, but by mid September I will be the proud Mama of two little preschoolers.  Mornings will be just Ollie baby and me, I am not sure what I will do with 3 hours of "quieter" time.  Yesterday Caillou cried and cried and was very reluctant to go back to school.  Jasper was the exact opposite, he was so excited and so proud of his backpack.  We celebrated afterwards with balloons,the playground and McDonalds, and the back to school fairy left bedtime cupcakes for the boys!

Unconventional Us....

In the ups and downs of daily life, all the endless to do's, and bare neccessities that need getting done, it is easy to get on the path of "just getting through the day."  Getting our basic tasks accomplished and feeling satisfied at that.  I am not that type of gal.  Call it spunk, call it a need for the creative.... perhaps adventuresome, full of wanderlust... whatever it be, the everyday daily tasks are not enough for me. I need a little fun, a little spontenaety, a little magic.  Sometimes I forget that, and get wrapped up in the ordinary, the getting through, and doing what should be done, instead of what "could" be done.  I get caught up in doing what people tell me I should do, and shouldn't do, " the kids shouldn't sleep in your bed"... "don't take them somewhere fun if they haven't been good"..."don't let them do that"... "you need to do show them your the boss"..."stay home more and be on a schedule" , yaddetty yaddetty yaddetty, I seem to be an open donation box for peoples opinions, wise counsel, and what not.

And you know what I have learned...  Me and my boys... we are not perfect, we are all slightly crazy ( and have therapists that would agree to our craziness!) and we do not always do everything right, but it works, we work, we have a few bumps that need smoothing, but we are all right.  We are a unique little family, and I love it. 

I love that no matter how naughty my boys may be, they are compassionate, they are affectionate, and they never forget to say their pleases and thank you's.

I love that I am the kind of mom that has fun with her kids.  I mean how much more fun does it get than swimming in a public water fountain for two hours with your kiddos.  Now they did smell a bit like a homeless man, after exiting the water, but hey we had a blast!

I love that I know what is important... and am learning not to get caught up in what other people tell me is important.... Why yes... that is my living room floor, don't you encourage art time with pastels on your floor?  Nothing a mop wont clean up!

I am glad to know sometimes a smile, a happy memory, a good day, is more important than paying a bill or doing the chores...

Mostly, I am glad we are us, UNCONVENTIONAL little old US!  We may not be perfect, me may not always be on our best behavior, everybody else might think we are nuts, but we are us.  And through the ups and the downs we are just trying to be happy, and create a little magic in our lives.

Jasper's third birthday

This past weekend my sweet Jasper turned 3.  As with each birthday, I always find it hard to believe that yet another year has passed, and marvel at how big and smart and funny my boys are growing to be.  Jasper's special day began with a breakfast out, and a trip to the park.  Family and friends came over and we had a little party.  Jasper took a whack at his first pinata, ripped through his presents with much excitement and glee, and ate cake like a sugar crazed mad man.  It was a good day enjoyed by all. 

my three boys...

4th of July...

This picture was from last years fourth of July, looking back on old pictures makes me so sad to see how big my boys are growing, I wish I could keep them little forever, I really do.  Caillou is 4, Jasper is soon to be 3, and Ollie is 14 months now.  Tomorrow will be another holiday without daddy, he is on the road again, trucking.  Tomorrow we are going to attempt going to our church's big pancake breakfast.  I do this fullly aware, that catastrophe will be upon us, or upon those around us.  3 less than wonderfully behaved boys, a large crowd, pancakes and a vast quanitites of syrup... THERE IS BOUND TO BE TROUBLE.  Other parents allow their kids to run free and have fun, I AM NOT ONE OF THOSE PARENTS, running free means my children might be found HANGING FROM THE FLAG POLE, or ON TOP OF THE ROOF, or perhaps COVERED IN MAPLE SYRUP AND PANCAKE BATTER.  So I will do my best to say in my gruffest voice, SIT DOWN AND STAY SEATED, and pray, and hope, and cross my fingers, that they might actually listen. HUH, WHO AM I KIDDING.  Perhaps I shall bring along a roll of duct tape as my breakfast guest, that might keep them in their chairs.  And after that, if I am not dead, or in some sort of WHY DID I BRING MY NAUGHTY BOYS TO THIS sort of stupor, I am going to take them to Old Poway Park for an old fashioned 4th of July event.  Crafts, cotton candy, hot dogs, and old fashioned festivities, once again ANOTHER LARGE CROWD, this time with red white and blue glitter, glue, cotton candy, and a train.... OH DEAR ME.  If we all survive the morning events, we will come home to the roast beef in my crockpot and have barbecue beef sandwhiches that we will share with our neighbors.  Hopefully they will enjoy it,  because my kids never eat what I cook,  while I blog, they are doing all they can to get out of eating their spaghetti, well... Jasper is eating a meat ball! YaY for Jasper!!!  Where we will watch fireworks I am not sure, I do  not know I want to brave another crowd, so we may just cross our fingers and hope we have a good view from our house.  HAVE A HAPPY 4TH EVERYONE!

a very busy two days...

A trip to the mall

playing on the playground and enjoying candies

having a train ride

and cotton candy

running at the track with our good friends on a before

bedtime sprint...

a wagon trip through town with 5 kiddos

a happy meal party

 a trip to the library

making cupcakes

eating cupcakes

we have been very busy the past two days, we went to the track two nights in a row, the boys ride their bikes and run round and round, while me and a friend get to walk a mile or two.  We have journeyed through town on foot with wagons and strollers, we have had lots of play in the water and many treats.  Today is a slower moving day and I feel myself going stir crazy.  Caillou is in summer school. and wont be home for another hour.  I am counting the minutes, when he gets home we have a playdate and then are making a trip down the hill for more adventures.

A day in pictures....

Breakfast at burger king and a quick trip to the grocery store

Playtime at the park...

playing on the slip and slide with good friends

enjoying watermelon on a warm summer evening