deleted my last post...

Well I wrote a post about some struggles I am going through, left it up a few days, then felt embarassed by sharing my stuggles and then deleted it.  I want to get back into a rhythm of blogging again, but it may take me a while here, so bear with me.  Long story short.... if you missed my last post, ( I deleted it so quickly after having written it )I have been going through a lot, I have had a nervous breakdown, and am working with my docs to find the right balance of medications to help me with my anxiety / clinical depression ( I have had anxiety/depression since my early childhood).  The most recent round of meds they put me on, made me very suicidal and I checked into the hospital.  I am slowly trying new meds, and seeing my therapist, and leaning on my husband, who has taken a leave from work to help out while  I have been on my cruise on the crazy boat.  I keep waiting to wake up in the morning and feel like me again, but it has yet to happen.  I have anxiety attacks constantly over silly things... looking into the freezer and picking waffles or pancakes for my boys. It takes me forever to do anything.  I feel this inner since of restlessness and constant waves of discouragement, overwhelmed feelings, boredom, and anxiety CONSTANTLY.  I am doing far better today than I was 2 weeks ago, but I am still not me yet. One day at a time.