Saturday, January 29, 2011

crafty things....




We have been very hard at work over here creating things.  Caillou is working on Valentines to hand out to his classmates in pre-school... we are undecided as to whether or not we should put homemade candies in the bags, or a marigold for each child to plant at home.... Jasper will be working on Valentine's as well (he wants to do everything big brother does, so it would be quite unfair to leave him out of the Valentines cards passing out process).... he will pass them out the day before to his Nursery Pals in Sunday School.  My sewing desk is piled high, currently I am sewing 7 pairs of pants for Ollie baby, and 8 pairs of overalls for the big boys...  two kimono shirts are also cut out for Ollie baby, and I am eager to finish our new picnicking quilt, and want to cut into some material to make a spring time dress for myself.  First things first, complete the pants and the overalls.

Monday, January 24, 2011

the pursuit of peace....

I love moments like these..... Caillou and Jasper holding hands ( without any prompting to do so) just walking down the boardwalk.  A peaceful moment... (VERY, VERY RARE around here!)  My life is crazy... or maybe my children are crazy, or maybe I have gone crazy?  I don't know, probably a bit of all of the above! 
For a good while now, everything has overwhelmed me.  It is safe to say, that I am probably experiencing a nervous break down.  It seems that all though I keep on doing my best to stay afloat, atop my wave of financial problems, single mommying it for the most part,  having a kid who is hyperactive, ( adhd and odd and pdd if I were to believe what the doc tells me) trying to balance out daily tasks, and then trying to manage my own depression and anxiety ( bi-polar diagnosis, if I were to believe what  MY doc tells me.) it seems that my boat might have a hole in it.  I have never been one to paint a picture of myself that isn't so.... if I am on one of my crafty creative sprees of Martha Stewartish proportions I write about it.  If we are facing eviction I write about it.  Ups, downs, I write about it all.  So... tonight I am sharing my struggles and my plan!  My ever so often repeated phrase as of lately has been " I can't do this anymore."  "I can't do this anymore"  the oft said expression is used when my children are flushing whole eggs down the toilet, repeated when they are running away from me in the store, said once again  while we are in the public restroom and they bolt out the door leaving me on the potty, pants around my ankles, scurrying to catch them.... the words are repeated again during an outing this weekend that left me lost and way too close to Mexico  for my liking at an army base far away from home, the broken record of " I can't do this anymore" repeats last night after my wallet was stolen, containing everything I had in it.  I say it all to often, truly believing that I really can't do it anymore, and when I do actually survive to witness another circus act by my incorrigible toddlers, I am convinced once again that "I cannot do this anymore" and  that I will surely at any moment spontaneoulsy just combust or melt right on the spot, or the paddy wagon will come with their straight jacket and take me away to the calm peaceful quiet land of padded walls and no shoe laces.  Well... you know what, " I am doing it" everyday I am doing it.  I may not be doing things exactly as calmly or patiently or joyfully as I would like to, but I am doing it.  And amidst the sea of yelling " why did you do that" and "get that out of the toilet" " stop that" and the "tears (mine)" and frustration........ I am doing it.  And a day does not go by that I do not tell my boys repeatedly that I love them.  "I am doing it" ...I am doing it each week when I take my family to therapy and behavior mod for Caillou.  I am doing it as I stay up late sewing surprises for them to wake up to.  I am doing it when I take them on adventures, and picnicks, and park days.  So all though I may not be doing it as "perfectly" as I would like to... I am doing it.  My goal this year... I know a little late... for a New Yearsy resoultion type post...but here goes anyway... my goal is to overcome my depression and anxiety (find the right balance of meds and vitamins for myself)  lower my volume... no more yelling and no more bad words, find the right answer for Caillou's hyperactivity ( get a good doc, continue therapy), be less agitated by behavioral problems, spend more time doing things that bring me happiness (sewing, baking, crafting),  not be so hard on myself and give myself credit for what I do,  stay home more ( not always be running away searching for adventres and happiness,) focus on what makes my family happy.... and do happy things as often as possibble!

Thursday, January 6, 2011

Is it spring yet????

I am going nuts waiting for springtime!!! I miss the many hours that were spent out in the garden, checking on seedlings, watering plants, searching for lady bugs, eating carrots right out of the ground, picking bucketfulls of strawberries, dinners made from the gatherings from our little plot of earth.  Last spring and summer was a magical time, full of appreciation for the miracle of growing things.  Wonderful friendships were formed with our neighbors, trading seeds and little plants over the fence with one another, their children would come into the garden and munch on yellow tomatoes and fill their buckets with them to take home, I probably grew well over 65 pounds of yellow pear tomatoes last year, and oh it made some yummy salsa that I preserved!
All together the kids moved bricks, and little fences, and rocks and dirt and such, a truly lovely friendship was built during that time.  Our neighbor and I now anxiously await our seed catalogs to arrive in the mail, and await warmer weather, and longer sunlit evenings.  I suppose we will have to wait a bit longer for much gardening, however this weekend the orange tree is ready to be picked.... thousands of oranges!!!!! Anyone else anxious for springtime? 

Monday, January 3, 2011

Training wheels...

Boys and their bicycles....
My mama and papa gave the boys bicycles
for Christmas....
Rain or shine, they have been riding them nearly
every day since! It is so cute to see little Jasper,
only 2, ride that bike like a seasoned pro...
especially with that binky in his mouth!




Sunday, January 2, 2011

New year... New Blog....

Welcome to Dandelion-Pie, my new little space to record my thoughts, memories, and share a bit of my life with you.  I felt a change from my old blog  http://www.pocketfullsofsunshine.blogspot.com/ was about due.  New year.... new blog...ta-daaa!    So here is what you can expect from Dandelion Pie.... a bit of.....


Hope y'all enjoy the new blog... I am looking forward to getting back into a blogging groove. 
Stay posted for more to come!